Dogs and Cats... no, that's the wrong way round!

I've just been reading on Ken's blog about Callie and Bertie...
and how Bertie is being tormented by a dog that thinks a cat is the same as a sheep...
and can be herded....
herding cats is like trying to fold mercury...
it can't be done!

When our ears go flat you silly dogs...
we are annoyed...  
very, very annoyed....
and we'll slash out.

My Staff's Border Collie found this out as a puppy....
the catatthattime was eating its supper, tail out straight behind, when a cheeky young pup pounced on the twitching furry object.
The catatthattime swung round and slashed that young pup across the face...
it got him a goodun, too, right across the eye...
much eye ointment later and that dog had LEARNT that the superior race was to be obeyed...
not pounced on!!

You, dear reader, might be wondering how I, a humble cat, know all this...
well, read and learn.
When we cats cuddle up on your lap and purr, we are not there for the company....
we are... 

READING YOUR MIND!

Or possibly uploading your next set of instructions.....

We are the Master Race!

Thoughts from the back of the sofa

I'm on a 'regime' [diet to the non-french]...
The Staff and Staffette think I'm too heavy.
They've even nicknamed me "Oooof!" because the vet said that on picking me up... hmph!

I've noticed that they are putting less in my bowl... and more in my brother's.
Except for the crunchy... the biggest amount goes in my bowl... but I don't get a chance to eat it!
NO! They've obviously told my brother about the 'regime' because, no sooner is it served up, his head is in MY bowl and I have to walk round to his and eat what they've put in there.
Sometimes he eats his fill from my bowl and I can get my 'fare' share... except the Staff has been hanging around recently and picking up my bowl if he's left me any... 'snot fair, 'snot....
I feel hungry all the time!

And my brother eats those vole and mice things...
it's not as if he's going hungry...
and he weighs much more than me!!!

Thoughts from an armchair....

What does a cat have to do around here to get near the laptop...
and I like a bit of lap! {Actually I like a lot of lap}
That ginger whinger is still around, more's the pity.
Seems my brother is begin to think he's not too bad... fool!
I'm glad that snow's gone....
having both of them indoors was getting on my nerves...
now at least they are both out and about a bit.
Means I get more lap too.

Some other humans came visiting today...
they had a dog with them...
Baron tells me that it was excitable...
he was outside when they let it out of their car.
I wasn't.

Me outside....
only when it suits me to go...
today wasn't one of them.
I did go and look at the snow though...
interesting stuff...
looks like dandruff, tastes like water on the rocks.
I managed to comment on someone else's site today... they'd noticed my thoughts!